"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth."
"Don't cut your own bangs."
"Don't be 'that' girl/guy."
"Check yourself before you wreck yourself."
"Don't throw a brick straight up."
"If you're too open-minded your brains will fall out."
"A flashlight is a case for dead batteries."
"If you can't convince them, confuse them."
"Always remember that you're unique, just like everybody else."
"The Lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math."
"Don't fry bacon in the nude."
"Never eat yellow snow."
"Never under any circumstance take a sleeping pill and a laxative in the same night."
"Your friends love you anyway."
"A person who is nice to you, but is rude to the waiter, is not a nice person."
"Most of the things you worry about happening, never happen."
And my personal favorite:
"Rub some dirt on it."
chels, I really like this one. However, I don't really eat bacon per se, so I don't think I'll ever be in the position of frying it while I'm naked. But thanks for watchin' out for me.
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